Mount Snowdon has played an important role in my recovery journey. Soon after I arrived at Penrhyn House in 2018, James Deakin told me that the whole house was going to walk the Snowdonia Slate Trail over a period of a week as part of Recovery Month. I hadn’t long finished my rattle (heroin withdrawal), had just lost my brother, and was recovering from Hepatitis C, so I didn’t feel up to participating in the walk. James told me I had no option. I had to participate in at least a part of the walk. Despite having grown up in Snowdonia and having seen the mountains all my life, I had never been on a mountain until this walk.
I did part of the walk on day one and then had a rest. On the third day (Wednesday), I was told we were walking up Snowdon. I said that I couldn’t do it, but I was told that I could take my time, as I had the whole day to do it. I walked with Marc Yates and he told me to stop focusing on the summit, but just look for a particular tree or rock up ahead and focus on reaching that. We’d walk to that target, have a rest, and then select the next target.
On the way up, we met a lady who was sitting beside the path and crying. I asked if she was okay, and she explained that she and her husband and had planned to walk up Snowdon together on their wedding anniversary, which was that particular day. He had recently passed away, so she was walking up by herself. However, she was terrified by heights. She walked up the rest of Snowdon with us. The last third of the walk up Snowdon is the steepest, and do you know what? I didn’t pick out any more points to walk to in stages, because I was focused on helping the lady. When I got to the top, I realised that this walk was a massive achievement for me personally.
James Deakin came to sit with me when we got back to Penrhyn House. At the time, I didn’t really think that I could do all that was required to find long-term recovery. James congratulated me on my Snowdon achievement, and explained that I didn’t need to focus on my whole recovery journey. He said:
‘All you’ve got to do, is do it in stages. When you look at the whole thing, it looks absolutely terrifying and it doesn’t look doable. But if you just do the next right thing, if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you’ll get there.’
I’ve carried those words, and my experiences on Snowdon, with me throughout my recovery journey. I’ve also never forgotten the woman on Snowdon and how terrified she was. I learnt that helping somebody else stops me thinking about my own troubles; it takes me away from self-pity and all that related stuff.