You have to realise my state of thinking prior to that first group meeting in the treatment agency. Once I had become addicted to heroin, I did not see that there was any alternative to the life I was living. I didn’t know anyone who had overcome heroin addiction. I had never heard…
I was in hospital for the next seven weeks, slipping in and out of consciousness. I didn’t notice the drug withdrawals because I was so ill. I had a line directly into my chest because my veins were not usable. My body reacted to the first antibiotic they gave me, and I went into anaphylactic shock. They changed antibiotic, and …
It’s all about giving new arrivals a sense of connection at the earliest opportunity. I’ve seen people connect and stay, and others who couldn’t make that connection and leave, and then relapse. Little gestures can make a huge difference. An invite to come out with a few of us …
This wasn’t the sort of violence where a person lashes out suddenly and then regrets their action. This was sustained violence over a long period of time. Everyone around us knew what was going on. I couldn’t escape because I was convinced he would then find me and my life would be at risk. I was being seriously coerced and controlled …
The results of that first meeting, and the effect on my life, were immense. I’m certain that there is a small element of hope—or faith or some kind of spiritual flame—that burns inside us all. I believe it’s never completely extinguished, but can become so dim that it’s almost invisible to us.
I learned more about addiction and recovery than I thought it possible to know… and more besides. The most valuable stuff I learned from my peers and other recovering people. Mutual aid meetings were an important component of the treatment programme. I remember sitting in my first meeting …
James Deakin came to sit with me when we got back to Penrhyn House. At the time, I didn’t really think that I could do all that was required to find long-term recovery. James congratulated me on my Snowdon achievement, and explained that I didn’t need to focus on my whole …
I was terrified when I moved into Penrhyn House. I had such low self-esteem and all my insecurities surfaced. I arrived with all my possessions in one holdall bag, which I didn’t unpack for two weeks. I was still unsure whether this recovery thing was what I wanted. However, I slowly convinced myself that I should try, and if it didn’t work …
When you share your story, and listen to other people’s stories, you realise that they have part of your story in theirs, and vice versa. This helps you identify with, and connect to, these other people. We kind of earn our seats at ‘the table’ with the pain and suffering we’ve been through. We connect in meetings through our suffering.
